The first thing I remember wanting to be when I grew up was a fashion designer. It’s a good laugh now because I’m not even a little bit interested in fashion trends. But I still remember those days with fondness. And I still hold a bit of that dream to my heart. I still look at the red carpet dresses at the big award shows and my guilty pleasure show is Project Runway. I would love to get into cosplaying at cons in something that I’ve made myself. So even though I am not into fashion, I still definitely have the seamstressing dreams somewhere inside me.
The next dream I had for when I grew up was to become a writer. I started writing fairly young. Maybe in middle school. Maybe earlier? I’m not sure. Over the years I half-filled notebooks aplenty with stories. From fantasy adventures to romance to fan fiction. It was really the best way to look like you were doing school work in class when you’re a kid. I loved writing. It is funny how your characters always have a mind of their own. You plan to have characters do one thing when you start, but as you go on they have a bad habit of not liking being prodded how you want them to go. That was certainly much more interesting than taking notes in physics class.
I have wanted to be a few different things over the course of my life. However, it has always come back to becoming an author.
I’ve gotten sidetracked along the way. Sometimes life happens and the pens get put down. I’m finding, now, that I feel guilty if I spend time writing while the laundry piles up and the dishes are stacked waiting to be washed. I try to justify to myself that if I want to be an author that I have to treat it like I would any other job. I’m so rusty at writing fiction. I am rusty, writing anything at all.
The other day I wrote a very short story. I think I’m happy with the way that it turned out. Anyways, if I am to be an author one day I also need to gain a little bit of confidence in myself. I haven’t let many people read what I’ve written in the past. If I get the balls enough to post some fiction from time to time please let me know what you think. Even if it is just to let me know that it is total garbage. I need to know. Honesty is sometimes a bitter pill to swallow, but it is most definitely better to have honest hate than dishonest courtesy.
Also, Rae told me that I HAD to post the story I just wrote. She then told someone that I had written it. In turn that person has said that I would be a douche if I didn’t post it. I guess I don’t want to be a douche soooo I’ll post fiction from time to time. Just a heads up.