My Review on I’d Rather Eat Chocolate

I recently finished a book called I’d Rather Eat Chocolate by Joan Sewell. The book accounts the author’s struggle through married life with her low libido. She goes tries about a bijillion different things suggested by various sexperts from television, books and magazines looking for the magic answer for overcoming her low libido.

To be completely honest, I’ve noticed a certain amount of decrease in my own libido since having my youngest child. This decrease has concerned me quite a bit, so when I saw the book sitting abandoned on the library’s .25 cent cart I figured it would be worth a read.

I appreciated the funny and painful honesty of Joan’s story. Though I felt for her, her struggle with a low libido and mine are vastly different. I used to have a higher libido and going into my marriage Husband and I were clear with what we expected of our bedroom life. That was not the case for Joan and her husband. She covered up her low libido or how low it actually was from her husband before marriage so that became to be a surprise for him when it was uncovered.

I could relate with some of her views on certain aspects of what went on behind closed doors. And though, I haven’t read Men are from Mars, as she did, but I can say that I would likely agree with her after hearing her take on the book. I found myself laughing and nodding along with the parts I agreed with her on. She some how put exactly into words what I’d been struggling to find words for in the past.

 

I felt as though she came away with a bit of a shameful and judgmental attitude towards women that do have a high libido. She talked about these women as if they were basically a unicorn, mythical and a figment of men’s wild fantasies. She goes on that the empowered sexual woman is just that: a fantasy brought forth by men, and not by women. Though I don’t agree on that point she does bring up a valid double standard of women that are basking in their own personal sexiness in a professional setting is alluring, yet it is just plain creepy if a guy were to do it (IE: an older women wearing sexy undies under her business suit not giving a hoot that her boss has berated her for a poor job performance.)

 

Her view on porn… I don’t even know where to begin. I vastly disagree on how she blew up on her husband when she discovered his porn stash. She accused her husband of basically cheating on her. She also has the opinion that only women in porn are women that are being exploited. I’m not saying that there aren’t, but blanket statements like that are irritating and inaccurate. I guess by the time she brings up porn in her book I have more than a little sympathy for her husband. I also know a couple clothing-optional models in real life, and I know from them that they are modeling happily. A good photographer wouldn’t make the model do something that she is uncomfortable with.

 

I came away from the book kind of torn. It ends on a happy note that her and her husband have found a compromise that they can both live with. That is probably the best take away that I can give this book. I wonder though, if either the author or her husband could be entirely happy with the compromise that was struck. It is important though for two partners find the right balance for what is and is not acceptable in the bedroom. But after the prior 200 pages of endless unsuccessful attempts at making sex even bearable for the author, I wonder if what was settled on would have endured the test of time for her.

 

Anyways, it was an interesting read, but I think when it is all said and done, it was not what I was looking for. But maybe would be good for another person concerned with her own low libido.

Advertisements

6 Comments

  1. ugh it really annoys me when people make blanket statements about other people’s life choices just because it doesn’t mesh with their own world view. Yes, some women (a lot of women) LOVE sex or showing off their body… and hell – why not get paid for it? Just as some women demonize others for actually choosing to be stay at home moms (which hey – in Australia I just plain could not afford to work and put my kid’s in daycare at the same time – don’t judge me when you don’t even know my circumstances/what’s best for me and my family!) Or like once I read a woman state that all women hate anal …like… uh… noooo… I know plenty of women that really do get off on that. Shush and stop trying to shame the women that like things and think things differently that you! Honestly, if I had read this and got to that part I very likely would have just set it down again and never finished reading it LOL

    Liked by 2 people

    1. About halfway through the book I realized that I would not agree with how she would resolve her libido issues but I had a weird pull to see how the way it ended. I guess like you would of you were watching a train wreck. I didn’t even put in her insane jealousy when her husband was attracted to a new neighbor. It was like the porn thing. She made it seem as though simply feeling attraction to someone else was the same as cheating. By the end of the book I felt bad for her husband and her crazy demands.

      Liked by 2 people

      1. It really says something too when the author actually makes herself look that bad… Like huuuunnnn…. this is YOUR book, you could totally tell the story in a way that doesn’t show your crazy to the world! LOL But srsly. OMG I would get so annoyed reading about her jealousy too. Like, what is the poor man supposed to do? Especially, if like you said she misrepresented her libido before their marriage? Porn and simple attraction are not cheating! One thing if he actually had sex with the neighbor… but COME ON. YOU’D rather eat chocolate, but it’s not ok for him to even look at pictures while you’re eating said chocolate?? LOL

        Liked by 1 person

  2. It does sound to me, like Rae said, that I would find myself massively aggravated by this book and her judgmental ideals on how people should and shouldn’t be regarding sex. My libido is low as it has ever been, but I certainly wouldn’t use that as a stick with which to beat those with a high libido.

    I don’t know if compromise works in these situations. It doesn’t matter what you do; if you don’t want sex then you don’t want sex and you will not enjoy it. It will always feel like a massive chore and an inconvenience. How could a person feel any real satisfaction knowing that the other would rather be doing ANYTHING other than having sex with them? A setup like that can surely not end well.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. It does sound like an intriguing book. I think it is quite normal to feel that way after kids but it’s not really talked about. At least this book seems to get people talking about it. Good review 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s